I’ve got my cake, and I’m going to eat it!

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Yes, this is one of those inspirational posts that talks about how much we have been struggling and how we are finally getting out of our hump.

But I swear, it’s a good one!

About a month ago, about the same time I wrote a post about work life UNbalance, I realised that we could not keep going the way we were going.

And then Oliver’s speech therapist dropped the A word, autism. And asked if we had had Oliver assessed yet, as discussed (in not so blunt words) late last year.

We hadn’t. We hadn’t booked to see the OT like we had planned, we hadn’t booked the GP for referrals and we hadn’t had the test.

I didn’t have time.  I didn’t have energy. What I did have was a thousand excuses, but none that I could say without being ashamed.

I hadn’t put my son first. I put myself first, and I put my job first.

Queue epiphany.

Then my father had a heart attack. He’s okay- thank God!

I was at work when I found out, like he was having the heart attack when I found out. And I actually thought to myself, I can’t possibly leave work I’m too busy.

Too busy to leave work whilst my Dad was having a fucking heart attack. 

Once that moment of insanity passed I was on the road in no time. I was there when he came out of surgery. I was there, and it meant something to all of us.

It was the first time I realised that tomorrow doesn’t always come, like truly realised. I realised that this magic land of tomorrow where I have the time to spend on my son, and those I love, didn’t really exist.

Not yet anyway, I had to build it myself.

Now I am  a very dedicated employee. I love what I do, I love where I work and I love who I work with. I was TERRIFIED that my work would tell me too bad, and that I could either have this thing called time or this thing called career.

Fortunately I work in an incredibly supportive workplace where I can have both.

Yesterday, I was approved to go part time at work, with an element of working from home. I was offered the full support of my organisation, both professionally and personal. I have never been more motivated to be the BEST employee! 

Today, I booked Oliver in with a psychologist and have spoken with an occupational therapist.

I can, in fact, have my cake and eat it too. And damn, I am going to enjoy that cake (in between appointments!!)

Have you ever had to pick between work and life before? What did you do?


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