Are you the type of person who hates to say no to people and spends half your life doing things you don’t want to do to make other people happy?
I used to be.
But then I bent over absolutely backwards for someone I considered my best friend, and it COMPLETELY blew up in my face. And I only realised when I went to lurk them on Facebook and they’d deleted me. I found out through a third party what I’d supposedly done (a comment taken out of context, and minor at that). No attempt to mend it, not attempt to hear my side of the story, nothin’.
That was it. I was just deleted from their lives.
And on we went on.
Admittedly, the road to no longer being a people pleaser didn’t just end there. But I slowly noticed myself stepping back from situations I would have normally been neck deep in. I stopped offering myself out to people for help. And the few times I still did these big gestures, I just didn’t feel as satisfied as previously.
And I began to notice how these people I would bend over backwards for, would kind of use me. It was very rarely that it was truly appreciated. I think it was because I was motivated by wanted people to like me. But then I realised that not everyone is going to like me, and I won’t like everyone. And that’s totally okay.
So I stopped all together.
I learnt how to turn off when I need to, and that’s saved me a lot of heart ache.
And now, I have the energy to spend on those who truly need me, not just those I want to like me. My motivation is so completely different- and I am much the happier for it all.
When’s the last time you bent over to please someone? And did it go to plan?