Have you ever heard something come out of your mouth and just thought, how on earth did this become the norm?
Or even worse, I sound just like my Mother…
1. Great fart. Also, great poo buddy! Because you learn quickly as a parent that bodily functions are something to be celebrated.
2.If you eat your salad you’ll get nice and strong. I swore we’d never use this one, but hey, whatever works and let me tell you- this one works!
3. Okay, I’m going to work and I’ll leave you at home… See you tonight. Because sometimes getting out the door is 99% of the challenge. Once, I even went so far as to turn the car on. Works.everytime!
4. Coco pops or Nutella toast for breakfast? When they tell you that they won’t starve themselves… It’s not true. They will. And they’ll also tell all their teachers that you didn’t feed them.
5. If you don’t stop that I will pull over and leave you on the side of the road. I was so particularly shocked when these words left my mouth that I followed it up with a giggle and ‘just kidding, mummy would never leave you on the side of the road!‘ Was I kidding though…
6. No, you can NOT pick my nose. Okay, one pick! My child has a sensory thing, and for some reason in a panicked situation he finds comfort by putting his finger in my nose. I certainly never thought I’d say those words let alone allow another person put their finger up my nose but here we are… The things we do, ‘ey?
7. Sit on the couch and watch TV! Because when they get really tired, they also get really active. It’s kind of like letting Bulls loose in a china shop except these Bulls are your really fragile children and the China shop is a house filled with your things. TV is an anchor that glues children to the couch, and if they’re tired enough it might even send them to sleep!
8. You can’t wear that or you can’t go out nudey rudey! We’re pretty open with what our child can wear. He often turns up to Kindy in costumes and runs naked on the beach. But sometimes it’s Inappropriate to wear a certain item of clothing, and most of the time you have to wear pants- much to my child’s dismay!
9. You’ve really hurt your Mummy, and now I feel sad. I never EVER thought I’d guilt trip my child. But you know what, sometimes they do hurt you and it does make you feel sad- and one day they’ll get to an age when it’s okay to tell them that.
10. You’ll understand when you’re a parent. Sighhhhh, yes I’ve used this one. Because you know what folks, now that I’m a parent… I understand.
What’s something you’ve found yourself saying to your child that you thought you’d never say?