10 things harder than a refluxing newborn

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Imogen is now 11 weeks old. I know, when did that happen? And for about 7 of those week’s she suffered from silent reflux.

For those of you playing at home, reflux occurs when food and digestive acid leaks up from the stomach, causing painful irritation in the oesophagus. But babies with silent reflux might not spit up at all, swallowing the regurgitated liquid instead (thanks google).

Now 7 week’s of reflux might not sound like a long time, particularly to those (superheroes) whose children have suffered for months, but for us it was up there with the hardest 7 week’s of our lives.

From 6PM until at least 9PM every night she would scream and all we could do was bounce her constantly. If we stopped, she screamed even if she fell asleep. And sometimes she’d just keep on screaming. I felt awful, guilty, useless and frustrated. Frustrated at her, frustrated at my hubby for not being able to settle her, frustrated at Ollie for not being able to sleep with all the noise… it was a very frustrating time.

Fortunately, just over a week ago it got a LOT better. She still suffers from a small amount of reflux, but once it is up it stays up and the hours of screaming have stopped.

But for those of you who have stumbled across this post because your child is still suffering from reflux, firstly you are doing a fantastic job! and secondly– here are ten things that I imagine would be more difficult than having a newborn with reflux.

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*disclaimer: I have not tried all of these so do not actually know if they are harder.

  1. Sitting through an episode of Seven Year Switch I didn’t put myself through this but I have it on good authority that dealing with reflux would not only be easier, it would be far more enjoyable!
  2. Running a marathon although the hours of a screaming baby might feel like it, unlike running a marathon you can sneak a block of chocolate and (if you’re really skilled) a cup of tea whilst tending to your refluxing baby.
  3. Listening to you Grandpa’s racist jokes whilst your baby might look like a little old man, I’d take the sound of a screaming baby over the sound of Grandpa’s “I’m not racist but…” jokes any old day.
  4. Eating a razor blade sure, it might give you some idea of the pain your bub is going through, I think this might be a little bit messier than a refluxing baby…
  5. Walking on hot coals stepping on stray lego whilst settling your refluxing baby might hurt, but I’m sure that walking on hot coals would be worse…maybe.
  6. Being polite to telemarketers… this can be solved by simply getting your screaming baby to answer any calls from 1300 numbers.
  7. Not correcting the grammar on your friends Facebook post but don’t worry, because no matter how settled your bub might be the moment you decided to relax and log into Facebook they will start screaming again.
  8. Going days without food initially you might find it hard to eat whilst settling your refluxing baby, but once you get that one handed eating down pat you’ll never go hungry again
  9. Finishing the twilight trilogy, either the books or the film… the sound of a screaming baby ain’t nothin’ compared to the idea of sparkling vampires.
  10. Crash landing a plane whilst there is a high risk of you crash landing on the couch once your screaming baby finally settles for the night, my study of air crash investigation suggests that crash landing a plane would be harder!

In summary, having a newborn with reflux is hard, really really hard. It was one of the hardest things I have ever experienced and I am so glad to put it behind us. To anyone who has a child suffering, I know everyone has an opinion on how to remedy it so I am just going to leave you with this…

Tomorrow is a new day!

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