Remember when I said having one child was hard. Well it is, but having two kids is with.out.a.doubt harder.
When you have your first child, you kind of have to rebuild you’re whole life. You go from being a couple, or a single, who can walk out the front door when you want, go eat a meal when you want, splash a couple of hundred $$ on shoes when you want. But then you have a baby, and you want to walk out the door but it’s nap time or they do their first poo in days and you run late. Or just decide you can’t make it at all.
Everything changes, and you often find yourself fighting hard to cling on to your sense of self. And not only is that perfectly okay, I think it is totally a normal part of adjusting to motherhood.
It too me over three years to be ready to have another child, and I was totally embracing for that head on collision with motherhood. Except this time, it didn’t happen.Our life is already childproof.
If anything, having a four year old has taught me just how easy a newborn is. That’s not to say it isn’t without it’s challenges, and reflux was certainly one of the biggest challenges I’ve ever faced. But Imogen came into our lives, and instead of changing it, she filled a hole we didn’t even know exist.
And life just went on… but with her in it. Inevitably, it’s much better with her in it. But really, not too much had changed.
Except my outlook. My outlook has totally changed since welcoming little Immy into our lives.
I used to wish so much away. I was always looking to the next thing. Oliver’s next milestone, my next deadline, James’ next posting. I was so busy looking ahead I completely forgot to enjoy what was right in front of me.
But then there she was… and it reminded me that just a minute ago Oliver was her size. And not long before that I was teenager, and time just moves so quickly.
We are so busy waiting for our next weekend or our next holiday, when we could be jamming as much joy into our day, everyday.
That’s not to say that joy can’t be seen in a rest day at home. But doing what we want, the way we want.
Life is what we make it. I have a lot of regrets, I know it’s not productive but I can’t help it. I know there will be days when I forget to suck the life out of every moment, and that’s okay. But I know that life goes so quickly and I don’t want to look back and regret the moments I didn’t take.
When did you have your big uh-huh moment, or are you still waiting for it?