8.11.2015 – 15.11.2015
No, we’re not at the beach. We’re at the jungle.
But look, the water is just there. We are at the beach.
See I tolllllllllld you!
Shhh, I’m just listening to the baby.
What did she say?
She’s a bit sad because she doesn’t want me to go to bed.
MUMMY, you just said fucking. (I didn’t I said “think-that”) You can’t say that word, or the police will come and get you.
Okay Oliver, I’m sorry but from now on lets just call it the F word.
Oh, okay! You shouldn’t say it.
My camera and iPad got replaced by insurance this week.
Mummy, my iPad got tooken too.
No, she’s got a boy-gina!!
I just want to put a hole in and see the babies hand and see if she will hold my finger.
Sleep talking: Fucking ducks!
How did I get into your bed last night?
You had a nightmare, so I carried you in.
Oh, I don’t ‘member, thanks ’bout that!
08.06.2015 – 14.06.2015
Sometimes when Daddy is angry, he says F***.
I sat there stewing for a little while think about the conversation I would have to have with my husband.
And sometimes, when you’re angry at Daddy- you say F***.
16.03.2015 – 22.03.2015
Don’t you dare!
*Phone rings, it’s Grandpa from the hospital.
Grumpy, are you feeling much better?
James and I explained that the needle and tubes in Grumpy’s arms were so that they could put medicine and water into him.
And you can put juice too!
Grumpy, is Grandma your friend?
Listening to the Gorillaz- Feel good inc. in the car when the blue tooth drops out
I WANT *whisper* ahhh sugar sugar!
23.02.2015 – 01.03.2015
Concerned Daddy might pick him up from daycare after he’d left:
Tell Daddy that Grumpy picked me up.
Humph, my arms can’t grow.
Oh sweetie, you don’t want to grow too fast.
Yeah. I can’t grow any bigger and bigger, because the roof will come off.
Daddy, you have fat hair.
No Daddy, I’m not your best friend. Mummy is your best friend.
Panda, you’re my best friend.
28.12.2014 – 04.01.2015
Me: Oliver, did you do a pop off?
“No Mummy, it was my BUMMMM!”
Me: You have to go to Kindy next week.
“No, cuz cuz cuz a truck reversed into it and CRASHED it.”
After driving past it to show him it was still there:
“Oh, okay then!”
After I walk out of my bedroom dressed in my New Year’s Eve Outfit:
“Wow Mummy, cool! Why aren’t you dancing?”
After treating his rubbing rash with Aloe Vera:
“I feel better already!”
Whilst laughing at a joke on his favourite TV show, Octonauts:
“NO MUMMY! I NOT SHARE! MY OCTONAUTS.”