If you’re anything like me, when you made the decision to become a parent then you did a whole lot of googling.
You read about the joys of being a parent. The first smiles, the first steps, the first words, hearing them say “I love you” for the first time.
You read about the trials of being a parent. The sleepless nights, the nappy blow outs, the tantrums, hearing them say “I hate you” for the first time.
But what you don’t read about, what no one tells you – is that it can be absolutely heartbreaking.
Your child is like a raw nerve walking around on the outside of your body, and every time they hurt, you hurt ten fold.
Every time they have a hard day, and you see the stress in their little eyes as they hold back the tears… your heart absolutely breaks and you have to keep it together and tell them it’s going to be okay.
When they fall over and scratch their knee and you watch them trying not to overreact and holding back every instinct to swoop in, when you let them get up and dust themselves off because you know that they need to decide if they need you for themselves… it’s the hardest thing.
Being a parent, it’s incredible. Most days you go to bed feeling totally fulfilled about the little humans you are sharing this life with.
But some days you find yourself up at midnight worried about an event that upset your child that day, more worried than you would ever be if that excact thing happened to you.
Because your children are your rawest nerve, and no matter how much you protect them it’s inevitable that they are going to have shitty days.
And as their parent, it’s heartbreaking to watch. Even though that we know this is a part of life, an important part of life, it doesn’t make it any easier…
Mummy is Cass, Daddy is James, Ollie is a babe.
Mummy check my muscles.
“Wow Oliver, so strong. Check mine.”
Hmmm… maybe eat some salad.
People always ALWAYS ask me I how I balance my family and my full time work. So here it is, my little secret; I don’t!
But actually, I’m okay with it.
I used to feel guilty all the time. Guilty for not being the mother who holds her child every time he cries. Guilty for not being the employee who can stay back until all my work is finished and arrive at the crack of dawn.
But you know what, I can’t!
Some days I barely even make it in to work by 9:30, and I still have to run out the door by 4:30 to pick Ollie up if James is caught back at work.
You see, he’s in the Navy and he’s a dude. He doesn’t get the same “flexibility” that I get.
But I’ve come to be okay with that too. Okay at a household level, not a societal level.
I also have 5 hours sick leave left, and a whole lot of my annual leave gets taken up by appointments for Oliver.
And yes, I’m okay with that too.
My boss may occasionally roll his eyes, and my work may sometimes be finished on a train or at home. However I always meet my deadlines, I always make up my 38 hours per week and I always produce the best possible work I can.
So yeah, I’m okay with that.
And my son, well I often leave him crying at day care yelling out “Mummy, I’m siccccck” or “I come with you!”
On the train ride to work, I’m not okay with this. I’ve shared my fair share of tears with other Mum’s leaving their crying children each day.
But by the time I get home, he is busting at the seams to tell me all the great things he did at Kindy and I realise that we’re both, you guessed it, okay!
So, how do I balance work and life. I don’t, and that’s okay!
What about you, how do you do this balancing gig?
After seeing the Octonauts live.
Mummy, I want to go see Kwazie, I want to go into Kwazie’s room!
Daddy, dancing Harry. Daddy, Plastic beach!
Referring to his favourite band, the Gorillaz- whom he also calls the Baboons.
Daddy, you go on ships. Like the OCTOPOD!
Ordering food from the cafe, after walk up to the counter all by himself.
I want 1, no 2, no 3, 4, 5!
And then promptly sitting down on the stalls facing the counter.
28.12.2014 – 04.01.2015
Me: Oliver, did you do a pop off?
“No Mummy, it was my BUMMMM!”
Me: You have to go to Kindy next week.
“No, cuz cuz cuz a truck reversed into it and CRASHED it.”
After driving past it to show him it was still there:
“Oh, okay then!”
After I walk out of my bedroom dressed in my New Year’s Eve Outfit:
“Wow Mummy, cool! Why aren’t you dancing?”
After treating his rubbing rash with Aloe Vera:
“I feel better already!”
Whilst laughing at a joke on his favourite TV show, Octonauts:
“NO MUMMY! I NOT SHARE! MY OCTONAUTS.”
This is an absolute favourite of ours at the moment, and not my own recipe at all. In fact the recipe today has been taken from goodfood.com.au and was original written by Travis Mcauley.
I make it as a side but end up enjoying it as my main. It really is a delicious summer eat.
1 bunch coriander, chopped
1/2 bunch parsley, chopped
1/2 red onion, finely diced
1 cup freekah (or cracked wheat or quinoa)
1/2 cup Puy lentils
2 tbsp toasted pumpkin seeds
2 tbsp toasted slivered almonds
2 tbsp toasted pine nuts
2 tbsp baby capers
1/2 cup currants
Juice of 1 lemon
3 tbsp extra virgin olive
Sea salt to taste
1 pomegranate, deseeded, to serve
1 cup thick Greek yoghurt
1 tsp cumin seeds, toasted and ground
1 tbsp honey
Blanch freekah and lentils separately in boiling water until both just cooked.
Drain well and allow to cool.
Mix the yoghurt, ground cumin and honey until combined.
In a medium bowl, place the coriander, parsley, red onion, freekah, lentils, toasted nuts, capers, currants, lemon juice and olive oil. Mix well and season to taste.
Place into serving dish and top with cumin yoghurt and pomegranate seeds.
Can you believe its 2015 already? I just got used to the fact that it’s 2014.
But here we are and I have a good feeling about this year. I’m not big on that stuff, the whole new year new me thing. But this year feels different.
This year, my husband is moving home after 12 months living apart. I have a fantastic job, a great house, the best friends and of course my amazing little Oliver J.
So I thought, what the heck, I am going to give my much unloved blog a new look, some new found love and some new content.
So who is Patch Imperfect? It’s a blog about everything that’s not quite perfect, but wonderful in its imperfections.
It’s about fashion, and being midsized in a society that is obsessed with being petite or plus sized. It’s about health, with the occasional chocolate binge. It’s about the job I love and the family I adore and my inability to fully enjoy one without feeling guilty about the other.
If you want to contribute to patch imperfect, please contact me.
I look forward to sharing 2015 with you all, in all its chaotic imperfections.