melbourne

What they don’t tell you about being a parent

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If you’re anything like me, when you made the decision to become a parent then you did a whole lot of googling.

You read about the joys of being a parent. The first smiles, the first steps, the first words, hearing them say “I love you” for the first time.

You read about the trials of being a parent. The sleepless nights, the nappy blow outs, the tantrums, hearing them say “I hate you” for the first time.

But what you don’t read about, what no one tells you – is that it can be absolutely heartbreaking.

Your child is like a raw nerve walking around on the outside of your body, and every time they hurt, you hurt ten fold.

Every time they have a hard day, and you see the stress in their little eyes as they hold back the tears… your heart absolutely breaks and you have to keep it together and tell them it’s going to be okay. 

When they fall over and scratch their knee and you watch them trying not to overreact and holding back every instinct to swoop in, when you let them get up and dust themselves off because you know that they need to decide if they need you for themselves… it’s the hardest thing.

Being a parent, it’s incredible. Most days you go to bed feeling totally fulfilled about the little humans you are sharing this life with.

But some days you find yourself up at midnight worried about an event that upset your child that day, more worried than you would ever be if that excact thing happened to you.

Because your children are your rawest nerve, and no matter how much you protect them it’s inevitable that they are going to have shitty days.

And as their parent, it’s heartbreaking to watch. Even though that we know this is a part of life, an important part of life, it doesn’t make it any easier… 

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It’s been a year…

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This time, last year I packed up my 2.9 year old and anything we could fit into our car- and we moved home to Melbourne.

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I’d secured a job in Melbourne, organised day care for Oliver and that was about it. When I originally planned to move, we had no idea when James would be joining us. Fortunately he secured a posting this way to begin in February 2015.

We had a loose plan. Get a sublet, stay there until Defence Housing organised our home, and pick up where we left off six years ago in good ol’ Melbourne.

Of course, it didn’t quite go that way.

We managed to get a one bedroom sublet in Elwood, tick.

But it didn’t take long to realise this place was filled with mould. Oliver and I shared a bed, which was probably sounds worse than it was. And then the heater broke. In the middle of winter. Oh and I came home one day to see our lil’ unit was up for lease.

Boy, was that an experience. Not quite the restaurant evening and beached filled days I’d planned of. But hey, we had a place to call home for our first few months in Melbourne.

And the girl who sublet it to us was amazing. She even offered to stay with her boyfriend if we hadn’t found a place to live by the time we got back.

Luckily, our last week in the place and we we’re approved to find our own place by Defence (yay Defence). We decided to stay Bayside but move a little further out as James would be working past Hastings.

We decided to move to Chelsea. We got the first house we applied for and within a few weeks we were all settled into our new home, and Oliver moved into his new daycare and thus began the public transport phase of my life.

James was still living in Canberra at this point.

Oliver and I would leave our house in Chelsea at 7AM, 5 days a week. I’d drop him at daycare, run to the train, hope the train would come, and arrive at work anytime between 8AM and 9AM (thanks Metro)! At 4:30PM on the dot every day I would dash from work and make it to daycare by 6PM.

Get home, arse on couch and eat. Phew, made it.

The first six months flew by, but they were not without their memorable moments. Most of which being Oliver’s tantrums- boy did he have a lot of feelings over this period.

We started him on speech therapy, and worked with his daycare to try and work out why he was so angry.

It turns out, he really missed his Dad. He missed everything about Canberra, the 8:30 starts, the 4:30 pickups, dinner at the table, his Dad.

And boy, was it great to have friends and family around. My mother managed to toilet train him in 24 hours, and the relationship he has with my Dad, his Grumpy, is amazing. He loves it when his Babcia comes to visit and I think his favourite people in the world are James’ younger half siblings. Not to mention his new cousin, boy is he smitten.

But there is no one quite like your Dad.

A lot of me feels like we only really moved back to Melbourne in Feb this year, when James got to join us.

Of course, after 12 months apart it was not all smooth sailing (mind the pun). It was a huge adjustment for him as Ollie had grown so much. And for me. I did things MY WAY!

By March this year we decided we had to move forward in a big way to get Oliver back to the happy kid he deserved to be, so I went part time. It was the best decision I have made since deciding to move to Melbourne. I am so blessed to be in a workplace that facilitates working Mums.

And just over three months later, Oliver is the happiest kid you will ever meet.

We all are. And we are even expanding our little family in December this year. I work in a non-profit organisation running their social media and website. James gets to teach new Trainees. And Oliver has both his parents, and the rest of his family whom he adores each.and.everyone one.

Boy, it has been one hell of a ride over the last 12 months. We have gone from Pillar to Post, but post is where we are supposed to be.

So happy 12 months anniversary to Melbourne. I know this is the first of many.

Have you ever moved interstate/ overseas? How did it go for you?

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Whoops, we’re very very late, a whole week late!

25.05.2015 – 31.05.2015

Little boy on the train

Oliver says:

After destroying a batch of muffins I ask Oliver if we should try again.
Let’s just go to the park!

Mummy, what’s your friends name?
Which friend darling?
The one in the white house!

The lady at the aquarium asked Oliver how he new so much about sea creatures.
The captain and paso and quasi.
For those at home, they are the Octonauts.

What I’m wearing: 25.04.2015

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I was fortunate enough to attend to Obus ‘W15 Launch in Northcote earlier this week. I decided to ‘support local business’ and treat myself to this Merino Warmer Dress.

Dress: Obus
Hat: Equip
Necklace: Gorman
Stockings: Target
Boots: Handmade Italian Leather

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I was also very surprised when I got home and opened the bag to find it FULL of goodies:

Thanks Obus!

Shop this look:

Dress: Obus- Merino Winter Warmer, $199
Shoes: Walnut Melbourne- Sara Ankle boots, $149.95
Hat: Equip- Felt Floppy Hat, $24.99
Necklace: Gorman- Snakes and Ladders, $59.99
Stockings: Target, $10

We went there: Dinosaur World, Somerville.

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Last Sunday, we visited Dinosaur World. It’s a beautiful farm down in Somerville, Vic (5 minutes off the Peninsula Link) full of walking, talking dinosaurs. And it’s a lot of fun, for about 45 minutes.

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Pros: This place is pretty out of the ordinary, it’s something unique and perfect for kids who just love dinosaurs (like Oliver). The staff is incredible, parking is easy, and there’s a picnic ground so you can bring your own lunch. The dig and discover is a MUST DO! And meeting baby Wilbur is a lot of fun. We missed it this time, but meeting the walking dinosaurs, Winnie and Wilson would be an absolute treat. Oh and there’s a ride on tractor (the farm doubles as a christmas tree farm in Summer!).

Cons: Cost! It’s $15 per adult and $12 per kid, and that dig and discover I told you about is $8 extra per child, so not a cheap day out. And it will only keep your kids entertained for about half an hour, 45 minutes if they are lucky enough to make a little friend to run around with (like Oliver did!). It’s also off the beaten track, approximately 1.5hrs out from Melbourne CBD– but if you do come down for the day I strongly recommend grabbing lunch at the Tyabb Packing House. The dinosaurs are also very loud, little O got a little bit scared with some of the dinosaurs and I could see that was a common issue as other kids expressed the same feeling.

Summary: It’s a perfect treat for dinosaur lovers aged 3-9. BYO lunch if you want to save some money, and prepare your kids for interactive dinosaurs so they don’t get any unwelcome surprises!

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  1. The VERY impressive gift shop/barn
  2. The entrance, it all felt vey Jurassic park-esque
  3. The dig and discover—an absolute must!
  4. Digging up the fossil that he found
  5. It was a dinosaur tooth!
  6. The picnic grounds, perfect for a BYO lunch
  7. Patting Wilbur the baby dino
  8. A very impressive Brachiosaurus, that sounded a LOT like an elephant
  9. The dino they all love to hate, the T REX!

What I’m Wearing: 28.02.2015

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dr marten and dress

Dress: Modcloth.
Socks: Gorman.
Shoes: Dr Martens (eBay).

Shop this look!

dr marten style

Dress: Modcloth- Chance to Captivate Dress. $169.99
Socks: Gorman- caught in the net quarter sock. $7.00 (Sale)
Shoes: Dr Martens- Original 3 eye shoe. $174.00 (ASOS)

Jean Paul Gaultier at the NGV

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The Jean Paul Gaultier exhibition is on it’s last days, so if you haven’t had a chance, make sure you head down to the National Gallery of Victoria and check it out.

I took an hour out of my work day to see it, and it wasn’t long enough. But if, like me, an hour is all you’ve got it’s still worth the trip.

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There are 7 rooms filled with over a hundred pieces. Each room is themed and the pieces are modelled in a way that allow the audience to see the movements of the fabrics and the theme of each outfit. Some models have talking and singing faces projected onto them. Each room, whilst unique, is as exciting as the last.

Here are a few of my favourite pieces:

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Incase I haven’t got you swooning enough over his beautiful pieces, what about his beautiful words about the piece he made for Beth Ditto.

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And whilst I loved the exhibition and I would recommend it to everyone, there will always be that one piece I don’t understand- for example this loofah!

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