If you’re anything like me, when you made the decision to become a parent then you did a whole lot of googling.
You read about the joys of being a parent. The first smiles, the first steps, the first words, hearing them say “I love you” for the first time.
You read about the trials of being a parent. The sleepless nights, the nappy blow outs, the tantrums, hearing them say “I hate you” for the first time.
But what you don’t read about, what no one tells you – is that it can be absolutely heartbreaking.
Your child is like a raw nerve walking around on the outside of your body, and every time they hurt, you hurt ten fold.
Every time they have a hard day, and you see the stress in their little eyes as they hold back the tears… your heart absolutely breaks and you have to keep it together and tell them it’s going to be okay.
When they fall over and scratch their knee and you watch them trying not to overreact and holding back every instinct to swoop in, when you let them get up and dust themselves off because you know that they need to decide if they need you for themselves… it’s the hardest thing.
Being a parent, it’s incredible. Most days you go to bed feeling totally fulfilled about the little humans you are sharing this life with.
But some days you find yourself up at midnight worried about an event that upset your child that day, more worried than you would ever be if that excact thing happened to you.
Because your children are your rawest nerve, and no matter how much you protect them it’s inevitable that they are going to have shitty days.
And as their parent, it’s heartbreaking to watch. Even though that we know this is a part of life, an important part of life, it doesn’t make it any easier…
17.05.2015 – 24.05.2015
Daddy, I’m fed up with you.
Referring to the lizard (Cheesy).
‘Cuz I just love him.
Me: Oliver, why do you get upset with Daddy?
Because, you’re just all mine.
Let’s have a chat.
Turns off TV and sits us in a circle for a chat.
I can’t go to bed, it’s too dreamy.
Manaaki squished my arm! (Ended up in a cast)
Ollie has hot pizza, Mummy has grape pizza, Daddy has a salad!
Wow, there’s hundreds of boney fish.
Daddy not march, Daddy teach!